Story // Christine Terrisse
Photos // Acacia Evans
At 22 years old, Nashville-based singer-songwriter GAYLE has experienced breakout success and all the opportunity and expectations that come with it. Back in 2021, her breakup anthem “abcedefu” went global and multi-platinum, hitting a nerve with fed-up young women everywhere. In 2023, that song earned her a Grammy nomination for Song of the Year at the 65th Grammy Awards.
In the years since, she’s written “Butterflies” for the Barbie movie soundtrack, toured the world with Taylor Swift, Tate McRae, Cyndi Lauper and P!nk and written for other artists including Kelly Clarkson.
After taking some time to recharge, GAYLE has released Observing Chaos, her first studio album and the first opportunity to see the full myriad of emotions, observations and lived experiences she’s had since her breakout moment across 13 tracks.
LADYGUNN spoke to GAYLE this summer as she released its first single “junebug!” an ode to her favorite month. In an intimate talk, she reveals how the new album reflects her wide-ranging musical taste, her new fan connection space called G Spot, her love of Nashville and being uplifted by female musicians.
*This article has been condensed and lightly edited for clarity
How are you feeling right now?
I’m feeling very excited. I’m feeling a little bit like a crazy person actually, because I visited my best friend this weekend. I drove five hours and woke up at 6 a.m. and drove to my house in Nashville. I’ve put out a body of work before with EPs and the study of the human experience, but an EP versus an album…having a debut album is such a different thing.
I’m really excited to have a full body of work out, and to start talking about it. Some of these songs have existed for years.
I find the title of the album interesting. Observing Chaos because whose chaos are you observing? Are you observing your own? Are you observing your own with the person with whom you were in the chaos? Are you observing that person’s chaos, and you’re done with it?
The album title. So basically, the concept of the album is – it’s my life from ages of 17 to 20. And it’s about observing those very specific three years of my life because it was just so many highs and so many lows.
There’s also you’re an adult and trying to feel like one and act like one, yet you’re still also a teenager at the same time. I think for everybody that’s chaos. Especially being a teenage girl and then adding this whole, you know, having my song be on the radio and being able to open up for Taylor and P!nk and Cyndi and to go on all these amazing tours while also coming home and dealing with my own personal life and my own decisions that I’ve made.
And so when I think about the album and I look at Observing Chaos, it’s definitely observing the chaos of three years of my life; but I also hope that a listener can put their own chaos and put themselves, or their friend or their sister in this album as well.
Do you have any performances lined up for when the album comes out? When putting together a performance, is it easy for you to get back into the mentality of the “abcdefu” era songs while bringing in these newer, more raw pieces?
You know. I would say like I found a way to go back. A lot of the songs I wrote when I was 19 and just absolutely heartbroken, like just I mean completely heartbroken; and I feel like now, a couple years later, I can go back to those songs and sing them, and still feel like I relate to them while also not being heartbroken and actually thinking about that person.
Like, if I would have thought about the person that I wrote “abcdefu” every time I sang it, I would go insane. Like I would. So absolutely insane having to think about that person all the time. But I can kind of find a way to tap into that emotion without necessarily bringing it back to a specific person. And I just think more about myself and how I was feeling and try to honor that emotion I was trying to convey in a song.
Is “clementine” and “abcdefu” about the same person?
No. I wrote “abcdefu” when I was 16, and I wrote “clementine” when I was 19. “abcdefu” was kind of a one-off. I actually don’t have too many songs about them.
What song on Observing Chaos is the latest you worked on?
“mother trucker” was the most recent song. That was actually a song that was a bit of an accident. I did not mean to write that song. It sounds cheesy but it’s true. I just kind of stumbled upon it. It does feel like the song always existed, and I just got to discover it because it was easy and came naturally. It’s a love song. And for me to write a love song that does not happen.
And you divided the album thematically into two parts, right?
I did. “mother trucker” is in the second, it’s in the side A but technically
I consider it a part of the transition song into side B. So it’s kind of like when you’re flipping a vinyl. That’s why also sonically, it sounds different from all of the other songs, just because it’s…the album’s a lot. It’s very loud and noisy, and I figured there needs to be a little bit of a break, a little bit of a breather.
You do talk about heartbreak of a certain kind and in learning to not let someone treat you a certain way, which is easier said than done. Is that something you feel is still a learning process? I’m not asking if you’re currently in a toxic situation, but are you? I wanted to go to that idea of self-preservation.
I guess for me, my biggest problem was I wasn’t okay with being wrong, like I would meet somebody and I would say this – “they’re different.” This isn’t going to happen again. I’ve made bad decisions before. Well, this is different and new and great and perfect. And then I’d be in a situation or relationship where things weren’t perfect by any means and I couldn’t stand the thought of getting it wrong. Learning that it’s okay to not be right and it’s okay to make mistakes but you need to take the extra step to learn from said mistake.
I would say that’s the biggest lesson I think I’ve had to learn is be okay with the fact that I can be what I thought was going to be a stable relationship or I thought this person was going to be the right person for me but they weren’t and we don’t work…and that’s okay and I just made the wrong judgment call.
In a lot of ways it’s a lifelong learning process. There’s obviously ways that you should be treated and ways that you shouldn’t be treated that are very obvious. But when you’re just starting off and someone isn’t a certain way right at the beginning, it can be hard to figure out how it’s going to end up.
A while back, you know, you were on a podcast that was associated with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. I thought appearing on that was such an interesting choice. In the clip I saw, you opened up about friends seeing you struggle and making it known that they were there for you. And a lot of people don’t understand how you can have a ton of friends, you can have all and still be lonely. Why was it important for you to talk about that vulnerable moment?
It was important for me to really show the fact that if I’m going to be talking about mental health, I’m going to be talking about the things that I can really relate to, and the things that I’m passionate about, and then I know the things that I know help me. It was really important for me to also, especially after the year I was having when things were so amazing.
I mean, I literally had jumped on my last show with Taylor [Swift] when I went and did that talk, so things were great. I got cheated on, and then opened up for Taylor, and it was like dealing with a lot of things at the same time, and it was important to me when my life was at such a high. Things were so great, and it was really important to me to show that even in all of that, though I was still struggling, my room looked horrendous. It was so messy. I mean, even my room now is pretty messy. I would come home from a tour and I have coffee cups filled with mold and piles and clothes everywhere.
Now coming to terms with the fact that maybe I have ADHD, or like I am continuously going to therapy and constantly wanting to learn more about myself, and also knowing that I’m not perfect. I think that’s really the biggest thing that I’m the most passionate about is saying that I’m not perfect, and I just try and take things day by day.
It’s also really important to me that I acknowledge that I think mental health is something that I’m passionate about. I think it’s a very important thing that’s overlooked a lot of times, and in real ways, I think some people can like say they’re taking care of their mental health or say they go to therapy, but don’t actually attack important things and use blank statements to not actually care about how other people feel or how they actually really feel.
To help people know what it really looks like, what I found interesting about that example that you gave is that a lot of times people can think it looks either super dramatic, which IS a part of it, or but they don’t. It’s very rarely talked about how it manifests sometimes, and you can go out and be “on” for people outside, but you have the coffee cup with mold in the room.
I was reading under one of the captions of your Instagram about your team helping you choose September 18th as the date for the release of the album–is that like a really special date?
So I have this thing called the G Spot. Basically, it’s the spot where only the “coolest of coolest” people know where the G spot is, and we all talk to each other, and we’re actually going to be doing meetups. I’m going to like to play my album for them before it comes out. I love social media because it gives you the ability to connect people all over the world, but it’s hard when somebody can DM you on TikTok or Instagram or Snapchat or YouTube. Like, there’s so many different platforms, and I was like, ‘How do I get everyone who’s everywhere on all these different platforms in one spot?
And so that’s why I created The G Spot, and it’s actually like its own little app. It’s really cool that it’s something that I’m… like I have no idea what I’m doing with it. This is very very new for me, but I’m excited about it. And my fans helped me pick the date [of the album release] because I wanted to put the album out in September. Like it just felt like kind of a “fall” album, and so then I was asking everybody in the G Spot what they thought, and they actually found that September 18th is like the transition in seasons from when it’s summer to fall, and we started putting out the songs in the summer, so it’s kind of like it was like perfectly on theme.
I want to get their opinions, and I want them to actually feel connected. I mean, I remember when I was a little kid. I went to a concert. I remember not even a little kid. I was 15 years old. I remember I went to a Julia Michaels show, and Julia Michaels waved at me, and I cried because I just felt so seen.
And I was, like how do I actually set something up to where I can talk to my fans and actually feel connected to them, and they feel connected to me, and that we actually get to talk to each other? And the ideas you have, you actually get to see play out? And I also tell them like when things are coming out before anybody else knows, or they’ll get to hear the songs, and then I’ll do live streams and stuff. It’s really fun, and I’m just experimenting and just gonna kind of see where it goes.
Another thing I find fascinating. I’m always interested, especially with strong singers, in hearing about your approach to vocal technique. I was struck by your vocal flexibility because with “abcdefu,” it’s a certain tone that is beautiful, but it’s not your full range, and so I was a bit surprised by “clementine” as an example. I hear a lot of different vocal influences in your voice, everything from gospel to rock to punk, and almost everything in between. You have such a flexible instrument. I know it started in childhood, but was there a specific inspiration? Was your family musical?
I was just a kid that was born loving music. I have always been singing ever since I was a little kid. Like I always wanted to be a singer, and when I was around seven years old, I think it was like career week in my school, something where I was thinking about what I was gonna do with my life at 7. I don’t know why I was thinking like that, but my mom showed me a video of Aretha Franklin singing, and I had this feeling in my chest. And I remember I looked at my mom and I was like, “I want to be Aretha Franklin when I grow up,” like that’s what I want to do. I was seven years old when I dedicated my whole entire life to music. That in that moment, like I was like, I want to feel this feeling forever.
I purposely made my voice a little bit smoother and poppier for “abcdefu.” Like I wanted a very specific like tone that I was really into. Also, I was like 16 at the time, so you know, like 16 vocals versus like a 21 year old singing is going to sound different. I will say, as a singer, I definitely need to be working a lot more. Like I need to be practicing. But there was an era when I was like 13 and 14 for two years straight that I just practiced every single day.
It’s almost like in a moment you can shift, and at the very end there’s just like this pretty element where there was this raspy element there right before. I think that’s a definite strength that you got going for you, and I see those dynamics in the album. But you didn’t have musician parents or anything like that?
No, no, nobody was in music. Nobody. I just really loved music and always wanted to do it. My mom was awesome and she set me up to keep always doing music if I just kept proving that I wanted to keep doing it. Like, she bought me a guitar from Target and she was like, “Once you learn how to play it and you want to keep playing it, I’ll get you a [better] guitar. And so after like a year, like building up my calluses and learning how to play, is when she got me a [new] guitar, and she was like, “Okay, you want to play your songs out in public? Like, you want to go and sing places? And I’d be like, “Heck yeah, okay. I just had a very supportive mother which I’m very grateful for.
In past generations, I think there was this element of “Stay in your own lane” and not just genre wise, but like if you’re going to be indie, you better not do like a commercial, or endorse a product, or whatever, and I just think like your generation seems not really that phased by all that. Do you have any thoughts on that?
Yeah, I think that’s also part of the reason why I wanted to call the album Observing Chaos too, to give more space for experimentation. You know, I just felt like it gave a lot of room for observing chaos. What’s it gonna sound like? What’s the sound? And I can be like, “It’s observing chaos. It’s observing chaos, guys. It’s a bunch of different little things, and that was kind of my attempt to not get pigeonholed into feeling like I needed to like to make one thing or be one thing.
I’m a songwriter, and my the music that I like changes, and which means the type of music that I write and want to write change also, and I really want to be able to put out songs that sound a little bit more indie, and put out the pop songs that are like “abcdfu”, and put out maybe one day, more country songs. I would love to experiment with dance music one day, and collaborate with other DJs and stuff.
That is something I do feel like, growing up it was always like you have to pick your genre and pick your niche and pick your thing and for me I’m like well why can’t my thing be just a little bit of all of it? I just love music, and I just love the art and craft of songwriting. And that’s something I really want to emphasize in my career is being able to experiment.
What was the most challenging song to work on with this album? And the one that you’re the most proud of?
The song I would say I’m probably the most proud of…I’m gonna be obnoxious and say two songs. “rot” and “this is what you asked for.” I wrote those songs purposely to go into each other, or I guess I wrote “This Is What You Asked For purposely to be played after “rot” and lyrically, I really tried to push myself to be raw. I was excited by the harshness that I came up with, and it was very fun. I already have been a bitch in my music by telling somebody like to fuck off and their whole entire family at that.
So then I’m like trying to take that extra step of being like, “All right, I’ve already had a song where I’m like literally telling somebody and everyone they know to fuck off. What’s worse? What’s something that cuts deeper?” And “this is what you asked for”, I guess… like, I kept going back and forth on whether I wanted to keep the last 30 seconds of the song, which is kind of the like biggest part of it.
I couldn’t tell if I just wanted it to be this kind of more chill, haunting, eerie thing or something that had a little bit just more going on. And I guess there’s a bit of an orchestral rock theme that I just never thought in my life I would ever do. Like it was so fun using horns and strings and electric guitars. That was so much fun. And I would also say I shout out to Jackson who mixed those two songs. He mixed the whole album, but mixing those songs, he’s an angel.
Going back through your Instagram, I noticed Cyndi Lauper offering words of encouragement under one of your posts. And of course, you’ve opened for some incredible women. How do you feel about these women that see something special in you?
Well, first of all, Cyndi wished me Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, which was absolutely insane. Like I’m just staring at my phone, and I just get a text from Cyndi, and she’s like, “Happy Holidays, and “She’s always like, ‘Hey, Gayle, girls just want to have fun!’” She’s so awesome; she is such a badass. I remember when I was opening up for her she was so awesome and let me sing a song with her. She let me pick the song, which was ridiculous. I picked “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” because duh, I want to sing “Girls Just Want To Have Fun With Cyndi Lauper.”
Her letting me open up for her, her letting me sing with her, her acknowledging my existence, talking to me, continuing to talk to me after I’ve opened up for her. Like she is just so amazing, and P!nk was just an incredible two years of my life. Like two summers I’ve toured with her two years in a row, which was just like so unheard of. And also, after playing the Eras Tour, and then just getting offered another stadium tour – was just like the most insane thing ever, and touring with Taylor. That was just so amazing to see somebody just so talented, and who I also know that has gone through. I mean, all three of them have gone through so much in their careers and have done so much as well and yeah, I think I honestly forget that like I did that– that I opened up for them that that’s me.
Have you ever had moments where you’re like, “Oh, I wish I could go back and re-record the song based off of the live performance,” and if you think you’ll ever record a live album?
I’m still working on it, but there is something that is in the works…What I found fun is we kind of started combining alternate versions. Like I have the song called “kiddie pool”, and there’s and there’s a strings version and a not strings version. And halfway during the song, we transition into the strings version, and we combine the two.
I noticed in one of your pictures, you’re playing a bass.
Yeah, yeah. I don’t know how to put it. Like some songs are just bass songs where I’m like, “Oh, I really want to play this on bass. That is so cool.” I learned, I picked up bass in COVID, like during 2020, because there’s just quarantine. And my friend Dave Pittenger, who I wrote “abcdefu” with, offered. He was like, “Oh, I have this bass. Like, do you want it? And I was like, “I was talking about how I want to learn how to play bass, and then he gave it to me, and I learned how to play.
Is there any type of visual art or any other art form that inspires you? I know you crochet.
I love to crochet. I love cross stitching. I love making friendship bracelets. I love painting. I love to paint by numbers too. They’re actually really fun and make me feel like Vincent Van Gogh. Cross stitching. I love Pinterest. Part of why I am the way I am as a person is because of Pinterest. I have a million trillion Pinterest boards of all the crafts I want to make. My mom is a fashion designer, which is awesome. So she knows how to make clothes.
She can actually make clothes. So I can go on Pinterest and we can find things, and we’ll make clothes together. We’ll make jewelry together. I bought a bunch of buttons recently, and we were making jewelry out of that. I really love makeup. I think makeup is super fun…I love tattoos. I think tattoos are really awesome. I got my first tattoo that I regretted for the first time though, which was a really good lesson because I’m 22 and I have like 40 tattoos or something like that. And I was like, and then I got one I regretted it and I was “Okay, maybe I should calm down.
Did you have it done over? The one you regretted?
I’m a very sentimental person but that also means I could have had a cup of coffee I really liked and get it tattooed. It’d been like that. Coffee meant the world to me. But I was singing with Cyndi and I would wear polka dots when I would sing with her on stage. So I had the genius idea to just get red polka dots on my wrists because I was like, “That’s gonna be fun. That’s fun, and chic. And then I got it, and then I was like, “It looks like I have the measles. Like I look sick. And my brother saw it that night, and he was like, “I love you so much, but what did you just do? And so I made it into flowers.”
Is there anything about the album that we haven’t talked about that you really would love to share?
The fact that I made it in Nashville. You know there are a few songs that I wrote in LA, but overall the song on this album is a Nashville record, and I’m very happy and proud of that.
End of interview.
GAYLE’s flexible voice that darts over punk riffs (bite the bullet), sighs across lilting melodies (clementine), and rollicking romance rock (clara) is on her latest release OBSERVING CHAOS, available on all platforms. Find out about all things GAYLE at: https://www.gayleofficial.com/