By Eli Kooris
*Photograph by Jiajia Zhang from the series âCouples.â
In all honesty ladies, weâre looking for best friends we can fuck.
Ok, that was crass and might sound a little harsh, but itâs the truth at the end of the day. In the beginning of any relationship, when youâre trying to pin a guy down, that should be the go-to one line answer when your courtship becomes compromised. Be our best friends, fuck us into submission.
Men want three things: sex, stuff to consume (eating, drinking, smoking, or watching), and respect. Weâve held on to the basic tenets of our caveman roots. Sure, there are notions of power, longevity, and morality in there somewhere, but those arenât things you need to worry about when trying to pin us down, just things you look for once youâve got us in order to determine if you want to keep us around.
Donât over-think, as you chicks are prone to do when it comes to love, sex, and relationships. He doesnât seem excited to see you? Heâs probably not but loves your boobs. Test it out a little longer, try a little harder and if you donât see an overall change in demeanor, drop his ass. He doesnât pay for your meal? Maybe heâs not that interested. Maybe heâs broke, or stingy, or both. Maybe he hasnât been made to want to provide for you. He wants to take it slow? Again, loves your boobs, not youâŠyet. Usually the most logical answer is a psychological bullâs-eye with us.
And at the beginning, when itâs clear heâs interested in you and youâre interested in him, donât play games to test his metal. Just be honest. To me, few things are sexier than a woman having the bravery to lay it all out on the table and tell me what she wants from me. We like certain rules and parameters. Thatâs why men love sports. We know what we have to do to win the game. And by God, if I care about a woman and she gives me a list of things she needs to be happy, Iâll fulfill that listâwithin reason, of course. If I donât care about her, Iâll let the list flutter away and then sheâll have her answer.
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