ERIC WAREHEIM

What’s a typical day in the life of Eric Wareheim like?

9am: It’s 9 AM and I’m just waking up.  I’m usually always late for work…

12pm: Lunch.  Lately I’ve been trying to get in shape for tour.  I’m starting with a trainer next week, because we’re doing two shows a night, we’ve sold out the whole thing.  So it’s physical.  This tour’s a lot of dancing, a lot of singing, and I just need to get in shape.  So, lunch, the whole office gets one thing, like Indian food or burgers.  Those days I get like, chicken and rice—something really healthy—so I’ve been very annoying at lunch recently.  I’m on like an every other meal—like if I have a burrito for dinner, next lunch I’ll have a salad.  It’s my personal diet.  You gotta have a burger every once in a while.

2pm: Usually we’re shooting; either at the studio or on location.  Last week we shot Chubs.  Chubs is like an Abba-type band.  It’s Tim and me, and it’s very early ‘70s.  The song’s about getting half-erections.

5pm: I’m finishing up work, studio, location, writing.  Lately we’ve been rehearsing for the tour around five every other day.

8pm: I’m probably eating dinner, off work.  Wednesdays I have a gentleman’s night; Monday’s I’ll be playing dodge ball.  Tuesdays and Thursdays I’ll be working out.

10pm: Maybe out, having a drink, or at a show, seeing a band.  Or at home watchin’ TV.

Midnight: The same.  I’m either having a drink—oh you want me to tell you my DUI story?!

Yeah.

It’s so fucked up.  I seriously almost went to jail.  I was out at a bar, and I had a couple drinks, and I had like, two drinks right before I left, so I was a little tipsy.  And I drove down Hollywood Blvd. to drop this dodge ball dude off, and then did a U-turn and a cop busted me right away.  And at that moment, I was like, “Fuck, I’m drunk,” or buzzed definitely, definitely would be illegal.  So the cop comes up, and I’m freaking out, and he’s like, “You know you made an illegal U-turn,” and I’m like. “Yeah I know.”

And he says, “How many drinks have you had tonight?”  And I lied and said, “Two drinks, at like 8 o’clock.”  And then he says, “Well your eyes are all red,” and I’m like, “Alright…”  And he’s like, “Follow my pen,” and he kinda makes me do this thing with my eyes, and I thought I was on it, but I must have failed, and he’s like, “Get outta the car.”  It was Hollywood Blvd. on a Thursday, so there’s hundreds of people out, and there’s hobos yelling, “Make him blow! Make him blow!”  I was thinking, I’m going to jail tonight, this is it…

He made me tilt my head back and count to thirty, and then say Stop when I’m done.  I did it, and he looked at his clock to see if it was anywhere close to what a real thirty seconds was, and it was, I guess.  And he gave me back my license and said “Don’t make illegal U-turns.”  So, midnight, I’m usually doing drunk tests.

So do you feel like you’re blowing up?  I mean the last time we went out together, that stranger screamed, “Show me your balls!”  Do you feel, like, scared for your life?

No I don’t feel scared, but I feel very annoyed lately.  Every single bar I go to…

I’m not threatening, you know like a real celebrity is, I think.  I think people are much more willing to come up to me and say, “Yo!  I love your show,” because I’m just a dude on their level.

That was totally my next question.  I think that because of the kind of humor that’s on your show, people do think it’s acceptable or feel like they know you and can talk to you because they think you’re cool and more approachable.

At Rambutan Thai one day I had a weird situation.  I was picking up some take out because I’m addicted to it, and there was this indie-rock couple, and the girl jumps out of her booth and is like, “Omigod!  I love your show!  I love you so much!”  And I keep looking over, and the boyfriend looks super-pissed that she’s doing this.  And it makes me uncomfortable because I’m like, I just need to get the fuck outta here.  I just wanna come out with my food.  But at the same time, it’s the most flattering thing in the world.  We kind of realize how big the show’s getting when we actually do tour.

Ok, I have a pop quiz for you:

Hearts or Stars? Hearts.

Skulls or Unicorns? Neither.

LA or NY? LA

Aldous Huxley or Cliff Huxtable? Cliff Huxtable.

Tea pot or pot tea? Teapot.

Mimosas or Bloody Mary’s? Bloody Mary’s.

Sir Elton John or Sir Mixalot? Sir Mixalot.

Now, on to Random Word Association.  Just whatever pops into you head.

Oak tree: Frame corners.

Mr. Rogers: Cardigan.

Unitard: Retard.

REO Speedwagon: black Jehri curls.

Lollipop: white horse.

Militia: 3.4.10.mafia.  Is that what it’s called?

Peeping tom: penis.

Plaid: cowboy shirt.

Celery root: tom yum soup.

Epiphany: orgasm.

Brass: balls.

Gone With The Wind: blonde girls.

Walrus: Doug’s video.

And after the interview, Eric wrote a Ladygunn song.  It goes:

Cocked and loaded,

Ready to explode!

Ladygunn, Ladygunn.