6 DIFFERENT OUTFITS/ 6 DIFFERENT SCENARIOS Styled by Quentin Fears Words: Koko Ntuen
This is sort of tricky because when you go to the bodega you are usually going to get a blunt wrap or a 24- ounce of Miller High Life. How can you make this look sexy and classy? Stained house pants and flips flops will not do. That motherfucker lives down the street and you are bound to run into him right as you are paying for the long stick of beef jerky. This outfit of a simple cute sweatshirt and short denims takes more effort, but when you see him he will be so angry thinking that you are going home to entertain your new, hot boyfriend, instead of eating pasta while watching old episodes of Rachel Zoe.
Part of the reason you were dating this asshole is because he made you laugh. The other reason was that he had impeccable taste in music and introduced you to lots of great bands. What a coincidence! One of your new favorites will be playing at the bar he runs on the night that he is working. You can’t put your life on hold and start boycotting places just because he happens to coexist in the same world as you. So put on your favorite worn- in sweater and platforms and go rock out by yourself. Within minutes, you’ll be backstage, sucking face with the drummer, while your ex is politely telling them it’s closing time and trying to avoid eye contact with you through his tear rimmed eyes.
Well, there were some friends you hated, some you loved, and there were some friends that were just plain nosy. No doubt these are the type of people that will be calling you to get coffee after the big break up. You know the call. Said person nonchalantly says they haven’t seen you in “forever” and want to catch up. They act like they know nothing about the breakup. Bullshit. Now is the time to put on your game face. This outfit is your armor. You need to pull out all the stops to meet that bitch; your most expensive bag, smell like perfume, and the most rockstar boots you own. Only spend 20 minutes max with that mole, who will probably run back to your ex and tell him how great you looked and, “No, she didn’t say anything about you.
As soon as you are feeling better, moving on with your life and totally crushing on a hot, sweet guy that you met at the coffee shop, your ex will call you and ask you out to dinner. Guys have a 6th sense when girls are getting over them and it comes out in full effect especially when you are looking really hot. This dinner will be the one where he flirts, tells you he misses you and tries to pull an Old -Time Fuck. Hell no. Wearing a casual yet sexy outfit will be the best revenge you can get on this guy, especially when you see his new girlfriend on Facebook is a fresh faced, snaggle tooth teenager who still lives with her parents in Long Island (or The Valley if you’re in LA)
Obviously you want to wear the shortest shorts possible, the most casual un-gym shoes and a shirt or tank top that shows your midriff or nips. This way, when you run into him and are all sweaty and sexy, he will immediately be reminded of how he does not fuck you and will be tormented when he can’t list the reasons why.
FOR MORE TIPS SEE THE FALL/WINTER ISSUE OF LADYGUNN MAGAZINE